negative attention

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Spittin’ Image


As I show my grandchildren and children’s pictures, different ones comment on whom they “see” in a child’s image.  One of my granddaughter’s bears strong resemblance of my father.  Another granddaughter looks just like her dad.  My two girls look like their dad (or me depending on who you ask).   No matter what they do to themselves, they still bear the image of their ancestry.  That is their physical inheritance. It is in their genes.

spittin' Image

Image is everything in the world’s eyes.  Clothes, hairstyles, types of cars, houses … “make the man”.  But, when you take all that away you are left with just a human being.  What they are really made of is all that matters then.

A young man I know is contemplating a tattoo, putting a name of God on his arm.  I asked Him why and he said, “to remind me of who God is to me.  It won’t show.  But, I’ll know it’s there and when I see it I will remember what He has done for me.”  I thought about that for a while.  The young man is not even the ‘tattoo’ type.  But, we are in a culture where that is the way things are expressed.  But, if it is not seen, then what is the point?  Image.  Take away all the “decorations”, what is left.  The person …. then what do you see?

2 Corinthians 5:17 (HCSB)                                                                                                                                                                                                                   “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come.”

Galatians 2:20 (HCSB)
“and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

When a child is born, their image is defined by their genes.  You can tattoo yourself, dye your  hair, sunburn (tan) the skin, use contacts to change the eye color  … but, the image remains the same if you remove all the “world”.

Genesis 1:27 (NASB)                                                                                                                                                                                                              “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.“

When a baby is born into this world the parents (or whomever takes them to raise) has an intended plan for them, a hope, a purpose.  Sometimes though, the child takes control and goes their own way.  Expressing their personality and style is acceptable in today’s world and explains some of the outrageous “looks” we witness daily.  But, when you remove it all you see what they were intended to be.

God created you in His image … it was His intended plan, for a hope and a purpose.  We do not need to tattoo our body, wear an emblem, sticker our car to remind us of Him, especially if that is all we do.  He created all creation as a reminder of who He is … we only have to look.  We are part of that creation.  People look at us daily.  Is there anything about us that screams “His creation … in the image of God”?

1 Thessalonians 2:12 (ESV)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.”

Now, “momma” says, go polish that image, the world sees the outside before they see the inside (exercise,  brush your teeth, comb your hair) …. 😀

Strip yourself down to His image, glorify Him today in your talk, your walk … if necessary your dress.  Do people see a rebellious image?  Do you express an image that you do not care for His creation by the way you care for yourself?  Are you taking the best care of  His image?  Are you giving the appearance of slothfulness or a fashion snob? What does your image scream?   Is His image presented in modesty?  Can the world get pass your image to see His?

There is so much to consider when you remember that you are in HIS image.  Need a fashion change?

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Celebrate Life (*IMHO)


Life Is Precious - Treat with Awe

We are celebrating our victorious child’s 34th birthday this week. She truly was a victory.  After five very difficult pregnancies she was born.  We first found out we were expecting her because I was being treated for bronchial pneumonia.  Due to the meds I was on that ‘could’ leave her brain-damaged, the other bad pregnancies and health risk to me and the fact Phil had lost his job, the doctor advised abortion. 

I was not new to this advice.  I received it with my second pregnancy while in the hospital during a miscarriage.  I actually lost a twin, but still had one baby.  I had lost my first child at age 24. Now at 27 I was finally expecting again. The doctor cautioned and suggested I go ahead and abort the remaining twin. After all, she had about a 10% chance of living, probably was brain-damaged and was a high risk to my health in my current condition.  I did die on the operating table with our oldest, but God had other plans.  After 10 days in the hospital I went home with a 9 pound normal and healthy baby girl.

Both of my girls are gifts from God and He knew when the doctors did not.  God IS the master physician. Neither was brain damaged, in fact just the opposite.  Both are college grads, married and are mothers.

I named our oldest Rebekah Kristen, rebirth in Christ, as both of us were given a second chance at life.  I named our youngest Victoria Paige, victorious child, as she truly was a victory against all odds.  Naming your children is very important.  Naming is important to God. God gives so many examples of why people were named what they were in the Bible.  For example:

Gen 35:10 “God said to him, ‘Your name is Jacob; You shall no longer be called Jacob, But Israel shall be your name.‘ So He called him Israel.“
Gen 5:29 “And he named him Noah, saying, ‘This one will give us comfort from our work and from the hard labor of our hands caused by the ground which the Lord has cursed.‘”

Equally important is raising them knowing WHY they were given their name.  It builds character and purpose.

When Victoria was in high school, she had to write a persuasive essay for English.  Since abortion was controversial many students wrote on that subject.  The teacher had already read them so she knew Victoria had taken the narrow path and had her present her’s last.  Her’s was the only pro-life paper. Not only did she state the facts about how it is used as birth control and that the statistics of its need for mothers at risk, rape, and incest (which are extremely rare – less than 1%); she told them about my decisions with her sister and her births.  Most of them did not know the facts and most of them were just parroting the popular voice.  Some argued we would have felt differently if she HAD been born deformed or brain-damaged.   She was able to tell them that we refused the amniocentesis test that would have shown such conditions as our resolve in accepting God’s will no matter the outcome.

So how did the world get to this state about human life?  When did we lose the awe over creation?  In my opinion it has been subtle.  I believe we as Christians are as much to blame as anyone.  We have treated motherhood as common and become flippant in our approach.  Why should the world treat life sacred and with awe when we have joined their ranks in the treatment of motherhood? 

I truly believe that if we want the public to treat an unborn baby as a baby then we need to be the first to do so.  I firmly believe that if we as Christians do not change our treatment of motherhood and birth to align with God’s word and then raise our children with the same teachings, then we can see life treated with less and less respect.

Birth is about a living soul, created by God.  God knows us from before we were born.

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

He does not label us as a ‘pea’, a ‘kidney bean’, a ‘peanut’ or a ‘bump’.  He would never treat us so trivial.  He would not focus on the mom and her physique and draw attention away from the awe of birth.

1 Peter 3:3 “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

I believe the Bible means we are not to be worldly and take on the worlds displays of dressing and that includes motherhood.  We have become flippant and tolerant of the world’s views on life.  Women are drawing attention to themselves and referring to their ‘bumps’ instead of their child given by God.  I am sadden by some Christian women who believe God’s Word yet do not follow Proverbs 31:30 and 1 Timothy 2:9-10. Motherhood has become about them instead of their testimony to God’s love and graciousness. They place photos of exposed stomachs on their social media and show off in public.

Birth is NOT a celebration about a woman’s body, but a celebration of a new life.  How sad that we have misplaced the focus and missed all these opportunities to testify to God’s wonder and miracle of birth to the masses.

So the next time you defend Pro-life and anti-abortion views, make sure your actions are not treating the unborn lives flippantly and worldly.  The world watches actions. That child is not a bump, it is a baby, a miracle created by God.  Handle with care.

*In My Humble Opinion – I know this is not going to be a popular post but, I believe that we as Christians need to check our actions against our words and views and His word.  How do we as Christians expect the world to view life with reverence if we treat it worldly ourselves?

RBGreenDesigns.com 2020

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Will They Be Like You?


Focus

We recently learned that our youngest daughter is expecting a boy in December.  We have two wonderful granddaughters by our oldest daughter so this will be the first grandson.  Well of course I had to go walk through the baby department to see what is out there for boys.  As I was browsing I heard this loud voice and I looked and there was this very tall, athletic man on a Blue-tooth talking away.  He had a little 7-8 year old girl tagging behind.   They were in the little girls department next to infants so I could hear and see the whole incident.  Obviously dad had her out to look for things for her.  Maybe mom had the little one’s at home, maybe it was his weekend … it really did not matter, it simply was not ‘her time’.  The conversation went like this, “yeah man, it was like that game when the Bucs (Tampa Bay’s football team) played … you know, the year before they won the Superbowl”.   OK, time reference here … the man is discussing a game circa 2001.  His little girl probably was not born.  I wanted to shake him and say, “look at her face … see your child … what are you doing?”   I wanted to go to the little girl and tell her to pull up Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s In The Cradle” and play it for her dad.

Where is your focus?  Children know when they are not getting your best.  God’s word says in Matthew chapter 6, that He loves us and cares for us.  He knows our every need and want and He takes care of us.  As Christians we are to mirror God’s parenting as we parent our children.  I do not see God with a cell phone in His hand, watching His favorite TV show, or reading a book.   He is not out playing some sports game, or going to some event at our expense.  Our children get their value of themselves from us.  We tell them by our actions how valuable they are.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing things for yourself as long it is not at your child’s expense.  No matter if you chose to be a parent at this time or not, you are the parent.   The child comes first.

I remember growing up watching a relative with their kids and comparing them to my parents in my head.   If there was a cake to be divided that parent would always make sure they got a piece,  the biggest piece.  Yet if there was dessert on our table, my mom (who LOVED dessert and would eat it at the beginning of the meal  if she could) always made sure we got some and then if any was left she had some.  One time  my dad gave mom the money to go buy herself a new coat, TWICE.  After she returned from the store twice with things for all her five children, the third time dad drove her to the store and stayed until she bought herself a coat.  She taught us how valuable we were.  It was not just ‘things’ either.  She spent time on her knees for us; she made our favorite foods; she went to the school events; was PTA and band booster presidents.  She invested her life in us.  She was a mom first, and “Gwen” … well, after all others’ needs were met.

My goal was to grow up to be a mom like her and to raise children that felt loved and valued and then they would pass it on to the next generation.   Throughout the Old Testament (like in Leviticus and I Samuel) there are stories told of ‘sins of the fathers’ being passed on to generations.  Basically, this means sin begets sin.  A drunk raises drunks; a thief raises a thief, a liar a liar …  an adulterer raises an adulterer; and an inattentive and unloving parent raises another generation of inattentive and unloving parent.  The cycle stops when someone in the chain makes a conscious decision to repent of the pattern of sin in their family and chooses to move forward in God’s strength leaving the past sins of the father’s behind.  Then and only then, will God heal the family.

Leviticus 26:39-43 (New International Version)
39 Those of you who are left will waste away in the lands of their enemies because of their sins; also because of their fathers’ sins they will waste away.
40 ” ‘But if they will confess their sins and the sins of their fathers—their treachery against me and their hostility toward me, 41 which made me hostile toward them so that I sent them into the land of their enemies—then when their uncircumcised hearts are humbled and they pay for their sin, 42 I will remember my covenant with Jacob and my covenant with Isaac and my covenant with Abraham, and I will remember the land. 43 For the land will be deserted by them and will enjoy its Sabbaths while it lies desolate without them. They will pay for their sins because they rejected my laws and abhorred my decrees.

Your kids, they’re going to grow up to be just like you!  Scared?

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Growing Up Too Fast


Growing Up Too Fast

I was almost run over today at the mall by a 10-year-old followed by a 6-year-old on her heels and a frazzled grandmother dragging behind.  My daughter and I were at the mall looking for shoes for her two daughters.  I have not been to a mall in many, many months and was way behind in my people watching, so as they shopped … I watched.

The grandmother looked frazzled, the two girls bored.    Both little girls were dressed very cute … for teenagers!  Dressing up is fun and there is a time and place.  But, this was not dress-up.  This was ‘who they were’.  It was a statement.    They had the lace fish net gloves,  heels (I could almost hear the pediatricians groaning over damaged growth plates), bootie shorts (yes, their little cheeks hanging out)  and accessories.   The 10-year-old was on her cell phone talking to a friend and it went like this, “yeah, I can’t wait for you to see the new shoes I got.  Yeah and I got a new outfit …”.  I think you get the picture.  It certainly explains the grandmother’s face.  Everyone that knows me knows I would have sent them in to change before going to the mall.  I often wonder why people want their children to grow up so fast.   The only thing that I think is worse is when their mothers dress like teenagers.

Sometimes I feel this generation has lost so much simplicity and innocence.  Remember Jesus said,

Mark 10:14 “Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of God.”

and in

Matthew 18:3  “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

I wonder if He is sadden that the children are not children any more?  I think as Christians we are expected to shield them from the world and to help them make the decisions of being …

a ‘peculiar people unto the Lord’

Deuteronomy 14:2 “For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God, and the LORD hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth.”

“while walking worthy of their high calling.”

Ephesians 4:1-2 “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love…”

Children can be raised IN the world and be successful, well liked, accepted and even popular without being OF the world.  I am not sure if the parents are so wrapped up in being successful themselves that they translate that into their children’s lives, or if they expose their children to much older environments and simply let them have their way when they want to act older.  You may recall a few months ago a heated controversy over moms and dads defending their little girls dance costumes and dance moves (click on the word ‘moves’ if you have not heard).  It is unbelievable how much denial is going on of parents over their parenting.  There is nothing wrong with trendy and cute but, giving up age appropriateness and rushing them into adulthood is not what God planned for our children.  Jesus wants us to become more like children as we turn to Him.  How can we explain our turning little children into mini adults? Why is everyone trying to copy Hollywood’s parents, lifestyles, etc. when they are all failing at everything but making money?  You will not be the most popular parent sometimes, but God did not put you here as a parent to be popular, or even well liked.  He put us here to be parents … good parents … examples for the worldly parents to follow, not for us to follow the worldly parents.

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Consequences


Actions = Reactions

I am amazed at the lack of ability for people to see that their actions affect anyone other than themselves.  Consider the angry driver that speeds out of sight as the two cars they swerved through head for ditches; the over-eating, over-drinking or over-smoking family member that says it only hurts them; or the teenage who swears it is their life to mess up and none of your business. As you are reading those scenarios you can easily find the consequences.  Yet, everyday we act without seeing the long-range effect on those actions.   The ‘lecture’ on consequences is one of my most discussed with students.

Children often need to be reminded that their actions have consequences, good ones and bad ones.  It is important to give them examples of both so they know it is good actions that everyone benefits the most from.  In teaching this concept you can take a  bucket of water, a tub, pool or lake and hand them something  to toss in the water.  Ask them to toss it in so that the water cannot be disturbed.  Impossible.  No matter what they do, they will not be able to pass the object through the water without disturbing the surface.  The bigger the action, the bigger the reaction, or consequence.  Choices, we make them everyday and our actions always have reactions or consequences.   What defines our actions?

  1. What we read, hear, see = our thoughts
  2. What we think = attitude
  3. Our attitude = character
  4. Our character = actions

If someone’s actions are negative they cause negative reactions which means we must change what they read, hear and see.  It is important to show the flip side of the coin by praising positive actions that equaled positive reactions.  For example, studying, doing homework, etc. = better grades.  Or, showing respect and consideration = receiving respect and consideration, which results in more privileges and responsibility.

Unfortunately, we are in a world ruled by sin.  Sin is a huge pebble thrown in the pond and its ripples are the consequences that are far-reaching, even into the next generations.  In 1 Samuel 3 the Bible tells of Eli’s penalty for not stopping his sons’ actions.  Eli paid the price of ‘in-action’ over his sons ‘actions’.

11And the Lord said to Samuel: “See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle. 12At that time I will carry out against Eli everything I spoke against his family—from beginning to end. 13For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them. 14Therefore, I swore to the house of Eli, ‘The guilt of Eli’s house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.’”

Eli’s sin was allowing desecration of the house of the Lord.  He knew about what his sons were doing and did nothing.  Makes you wonder doesn’t it?  I know parents who have thrown in the towel over their minor children and said, “what can I do?”.  EVERYTHING you can, is what God expects.  God holds mothers and fathers responsible for how their children act, what they read, hear and see.  The problem is, parents allow things to slip by until the children are so out of control it will take a war to win.  Some say they pick their battles, but that usually means they finally exit the war.  Raising children is spiritual warfare and the other side is not sitting idle.

Inaction IS an action.  I recently heard two boys discussing hitting back over a senseless killing.  I could have kept walking the class room and ignored them.  Trust me, it is easier.  However,  1) I knew they saw I heard them, and 2) that ‘feeling’ you get inside when you know you are supposed to speak and want to choose not to was choking me to get out.   So I went back and looked at the young man and asked, ‘What will that do’?  He said, “It will get even, I can’t just do nothing”.  I looked at him and said, “You cannot throw a rock in the water and not expect a splash.”  Blunt statements that seem senseless usually get their attention.  I then asked him, “What if they get even and ‘hit’ you back?”  He said, “We all gotta die sometime.”  Death is not a feared consequence any more.  We have desensitized a whole generation.  I asked him if he thought someone would get even for him, he thought they would.  I then asked him, “What if it’s your grandmother, or your mother, or baby sister they hit next and how will those left behind feel then?”  I had his attention.  First, death is not the end of anything, even if you do not believe in afterlife.  Second, there are those left behind after a shooting, suicide, death or self-inflicted cancer.  Even if you die, someone is forced to live with your action’s consequences.

The Bible says in Matthew 7:16-20 ,

16By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

Your actions define what kind of tree you are.   What will your actions cause today?