Wants

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Need to know basis …


Curiosity killed the cat …. curiosity gets us in a pickle …

When we think we need to know ... we don't.

(ask the cat in the picture to the right).   Growing up I heard these sayings and I repeated them to my children as I raised them.  You probably have said them yourself.  My other favorite comment was, “that is a need to know basis, and you don’t need to know.”  We know these truths on one level but on the spiritual level we do not live them.

Sometimes we treat God with the attitude of “I NEED TO KNOW … and I NEED TO KNOW NOW!”.  It is a struggle of will power, of who is in control.  I would be lying if I said I do not struggle with wanting to know God’s plan NOW.  Waiting is hard.  But, He says in  Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” ESV

We are like the reader that wants to look ahead to the back of the book to see how it ends.  We look for the answer sheet to the crossword puzzle in the paper.  We want to cheat because we want to know.  We think we NEED to know.  We have to know or …. or what?  Truthfully, there is nothing you or I can do to hurry God’s plan.  All we are doing is adding to our anguish by not letting go and letting God.

God is on a need to know basis … He gives you His word for guidance.  You have prayer and the Holy Spirit to lead you in His will for your life.  If you are in control and demand to know … if you are constantly striving to figure things out on your own, then you are going to get yourself in some pretty tight jams (just ask the cat).

All we need to know is He knows.  Trust Him and wait upon the Lord…

“but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31 ESV

remembering that in His time (not yours), all things work together for good. Romans 8:28 says,

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” ESV

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When God closes a door ….


“When God closes a door, He opens a window!”

CLOSED Do Not Enter

Ever heard that?  It always bugged me when people said that because it was as if they thought God sneaks us out a side window, the backdoor, or through the attic and onto the roof for a jump ….

Huh? I don't think so.

What I think is that we are facing the wrong path, which is the side window, the backdoor, the attic; and God is closing all exits but the front door.  We are turned around, not Him.  We place God where we want Him and tell Him that is the door.

When Phil lost his job through the buyout of his company, God shut a door.  We did not shut it, God did.  Through the past three years as Phil has looked for work and been interviewed we have asked God to show us His path.  Each time the door has shut.  Sometimes there is NOT another way out because God has not opened the front door YET.  Sometimes you stay where you are and WAIT.  We do not wait well as humans.  We are impatient.  We want our fingers in the pie and we want to stir the pot.  God has plans for our lives and if we allow Him to direct our path, then IN HIS TIME He will show us the front door.

Waiting on Him is the hardest part.  Three years seems forever to us, but, considering it was over 2000 years ago He promised to return, well … three years is nothing in the light of eternity.

Are you faced with choices?  Are your children needing direction?  Tell them to BE STILL and WAIT on Him.  Accept WAITING and enduring as lessons of patience and character growth.  It is not always what we think, feel or want.  However, when we do wait and He closes all the doors, windows, and steps to the attic … the front door will be in front of us and it will be opened in His time.

Psalm 46:10 (HCSB)“Stop—and know that I am God,exalted among the nations, exalted on the earth.”

1 Corinthians 10:13 (HCSB) “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. God is faithful and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape, so that you are able to bear it.”

Psalm 37:4 (HCSB)“Take delight in the LORD,and He will give you your heart’s desires.”

When we are willing to allow Him to have His will …. “Lord, help me to delight myself in You.”


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Will They Be Like You?


Focus

We recently learned that our youngest daughter is expecting a boy in December.  We have two wonderful granddaughters by our oldest daughter so this will be the first grandson.  Well of course I had to go walk through the baby department to see what is out there for boys.  As I was browsing I heard this loud voice and I looked and there was this very tall, athletic man on a Blue-tooth talking away.  He had a little 7-8 year old girl tagging behind.   They were in the little girls department next to infants so I could hear and see the whole incident.  Obviously dad had her out to look for things for her.  Maybe mom had the little one’s at home, maybe it was his weekend … it really did not matter, it simply was not ‘her time’.  The conversation went like this, “yeah man, it was like that game when the Bucs (Tampa Bay’s football team) played … you know, the year before they won the Superbowl”.   OK, time reference here … the man is discussing a game circa 2001.  His little girl probably was not born.  I wanted to shake him and say, “look at her face … see your child … what are you doing?”   I wanted to go to the little girl and tell her to pull up Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s In The Cradle” and play it for her dad.

Where is your focus?  Children know when they are not getting your best.  God’s word says in Matthew chapter 6, that He loves us and cares for us.  He knows our every need and want and He takes care of us.  As Christians we are to mirror God’s parenting as we parent our children.  I do not see God with a cell phone in His hand, watching His favorite TV show, or reading a book.   He is not out playing some sports game, or going to some event at our expense.  Our children get their value of themselves from us.  We tell them by our actions how valuable they are.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing things for yourself as long it is not at your child’s expense.  No matter if you chose to be a parent at this time or not, you are the parent.   The child comes first.

I remember growing up watching a relative with their kids and comparing them to my parents in my head.   If there was a cake to be divided that parent would always make sure they got a piece,  the biggest piece.  Yet if there was dessert on our table, my mom (who LOVED dessert and would eat it at the beginning of the meal  if she could) always made sure we got some and then if any was left she had some.  One time  my dad gave mom the money to go buy herself a new coat, TWICE.  After she returned from the store twice with things for all her five children, the third time dad drove her to the store and stayed until she bought herself a coat.  She taught us how valuable we were.  It was not just ‘things’ either.  She spent time on her knees for us; she made our favorite foods; she went to the school events; was PTA and band booster presidents.  She invested her life in us.  She was a mom first, and “Gwen” … well, after all others’ needs were met.

My goal was to grow up to be a mom like her and to raise children that felt loved and valued and then they would pass it on to the next generation.   Throughout the Old Testament (like in Leviticus and I Samuel) there are stories told of ‘sins of the fathers’ being passed on to generations.  Basically, this means sin begets sin.  A drunk raises drunks; a thief raises a thief, a liar a liar …  an adulterer raises an adulterer; and an inattentive and unloving parent raises another generation of inattentive and unloving parent.  The cycle stops when someone in the chain makes a conscious decision to repent of the pattern of sin in their family and chooses to move forward in God’s strength leaving the past sins of the father’s behind.  Then and only then, will God heal the family.

Leviticus 26:39-43 (New International Version)
39 Those of you who are left will waste away in the lands of their enemies because of their sins; also because of their fathers’ sins they will waste away.
40 ” ‘But if they will confess their sins and the sins of their fathers—their treachery against me and their hostility toward me, 41 which made me hostile toward them so that I sent them into the land of their enemies—then when their uncircumcised hearts are humbled and they pay for their sin, 42 I will remember my covenant with Jacob and my covenant with Isaac and my covenant with Abraham, and I will remember the land. 43 For the land will be deserted by them and will enjoy its Sabbaths while it lies desolate without them. They will pay for their sins because they rejected my laws and abhorred my decrees.

Your kids, they’re going to grow up to be just like you!  Scared?

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Green Eyed Monster


Jealousy

It is so interesting to watch children at the beach.   While playing with my granddaughters this week, I have noticed several times when the ‘green-eyed’ monster came to play.  Jealousy, it is only natural in humans.  It is our response to it that can be sad.  When the green-eyed monster rears its head with the grandchildren their parents teach them to share toys and attention.  Not every parent heeds the onset of the monster and because it is allowed to grow, it becomes a true monster that follows them throughout life.  My four-year old granddaughter was playing with a raft in the pool and when she got off to get back on a different way, another child took it away from her.  The child’s parent immediately talked with her daughter and had her give it back and apologize.  Good parenting.  Too many parents ignore what their children are doing and/or pass it off as ‘kids will be kids’.  To which I respond, “only if you let them”.  Parenting means you are constantly raising them to be adults.  Too many parents step in during the teenage years to make them young adults after ignoring them over the previous 12 or so years.  That is a little late.  Everything our children need to know we teach in the first few years of life along with how to walk, feed themselves and potty training.

One of the first words children learn is ‘mine’.  Many parents typically respond with teaching them to share.   But, then they stop.  Every truth you teach your child about getting along with others need to be continued in their spiritual life as they are learning about God.  Otherwise, as they grow up, they will deal with the problem over and over.  I think if we are honest, most of us in retrospect will realize that as adults we still deal with the issue of ‘mine’ in some areas.

As my husband and I have gone unemployed during these hard economic times, we face the reality of loosing everything we own.  I will be honest, it has been hard to look at my ‘treasures’ and realize they may have to go.  Not just the house, but furniture, great-grandmother’s china, etc.  When people lose their house in a flood or fire they lose all the photos, heirlooms, etc.  As I think through all the memories and realize I may have no place to store them I had to be honest with myself and admit that I was still in the ‘mine’ mode as an adult.  Of course satan wants to jump right in and try to make you be angry and jealous of those who are doing so well and seem to have no struggles.    In truth, everything I have is from God above and His to take.  We often hear you cannot take it with you, but the truth is, there is no guarantee you’ll keep it while you are here either.  Job 1:21

Your children will have this same problem as they lose things or see other children get their ‘wants’ while your child does not.   It is important they learn that God gives us what we need when we need it and not our wants.  The desires of our heart are given to us when we delight ourselves in Him, but only He knows what the true desires of our heart are.

Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

As you are teaching your child the concept of ‘mine’, sharing, and about the green-eyed monster of jealousy, teach them along the way that God is giving them everything and He has the right to give and take as He sees fit to mold us into His image, not our idea of what that image should be.

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I Got Rights!


Rights.

The Justice or Injustice of Life

While raising kids you will hear them express what they perceive to be their rights on a daily (if not hourly) basis.  “That’s not right. That’s not fair.”  They have their perception of what are their rights and what is fair.  It is your responsibility to teach them what their rights are and what is fair.  Teach your children from the child rearing manual, the Bible.  And they learn from watching YOU follow that manual for your own life.

My daughters grew up hearing the standard retorts we grew up with, “I don’t have to be fair, I’m your mom, life’s not fair.”  I believe that as adults we are guilty of the same attitude with God.  “That’s not fair”, is uttered in our mind and hearts if not out loud. Honestly, as we look around at those that are still employed and are suffering no economic hardship, it is difficult not to look towards Heaven and question the fairness.   Except for the fact that we have no money, no idea what is going to happen to us, our home, etc., Phil and I have never been so blessed.  We have wonderful daughters and we have each other.  Simplistic as it may seem, we have our needs of food, clothes, shelter and love for TODAY.  Our daily bread, so to speak.

It really all boils down to needs and wants.  I often told my girls they were brought into this world with the right to a place to sleep, food to eat and clothes to wear.  I told them that nothing guaranteed them a private bedroom decorated to their taste, clothes that they liked to wear or their favorite foods.   All of those luxuries were earned, not rights.  Of course I never held them to just a pallet on the floor, one pair of shoes and one change or clothes and bread and water.  Most parents want the best for their children and we enjoy lavishing them with the best.

I am fond of reminding people how everything on earth is a minuscule picture of our relationship with our Heavenly Father.  God has promised us a place to sleep, food to eat and clothes to wear.  Everything else is His blessings.   We do not earn our blessings based on our works.   Just like we may want to bless our children but do not do so because of timing or their being ready for such blessings, God too, has a perfect timing for what He has for us.  Seriously, who would give a sports car to a toddler?  We receive what we need and want when it is in accordance to God’s will and timing.  If blessings were based on works, the Apostles would not have suffered.  Suffering is not a sign that God does not love us or has forgotten us.  God does know our needs as well as our hearts desires.  Going through times of hardship, we tend to think God has quit loving us.  Have you ever heard your child say, “you just don’t love me” when you denied a perceived right or held back a wanted item?  Even as adults we can be so childish.  God loves us and He has a perfect timing.  I could scream I have rights to the Lord.  We’ve been faithful in all areas of our lives, so why are we about to lose all that we have left, the house, the cars?  What will we do?  Where will we get food? Where will we sleep?  We have rights Lord, right?  We are your children Lord, right?  Right.   And what does the Bible tell us?

Matthew 6:

25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his lifeb?

28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Just as you love your child and you want to give them all their needs and even all their wants that you can, so does God love us and want to give us all our needs and even our hearts desires.  When you trust, fully trust and when you obey, fully obey, God can and will do everything to work His perfect will in your life IN HIS TIME.  Ultimately, that is what you want is it not?  His perfect will?  We cannot even imagine the blessings He has for us in His perfect timing.  SO many times we settle for less than His best because we want it now, RIGHT now.  We still have a place to sleep and food to eat.  We have no idea where God is leading us or what is in store.  Do we want to know?  Right now?  Of course we do.  However, if we can be still, and know that He is God and wait on Him then we, our children and all those watching us, will have grown in Him and in our faith.

Matthew 7:11
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!