teens

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Where Did the Gray Come From?


Notice there is nothing in between?

Where did the gray come from?  Are there gray areas in the Bible?  In today’s society we are taught to be politically correct and tolerant, there is no black and white, all is gray.  Raising kids in these times is a struggle.  The world is far more vocal in their life view than the church.  While the world agrees on some black/white issues like murder and stealing, the majority of the 10 commandments are so blurred in the eyes of the world that our children must be guarded with truth at home, church and everywhere in between.

Do you remember learning the 10 commandments at church and getting an award?  Again, we need to get back to teaching our children the basics.  Yes, the 10 commandments are Old Testament, and we are not saved by laws but, by His grace.  But, Jesus taught the Ten Commandments in the way He lived and talked.  Jesus said in Matthew 5:17-18,  ” 17Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.” We live our lives under adherence to these laws by God’s  grace.  We should teach our children the 10 commandments by the way we live.

Learning and teaching the Ten Commandments is too broad a concept for a single post.  I have written a much more expanded section on the Ten Commandments and added it as a ‘tab’ on my menu.  Even this is not a full understanding of all the Commandments encompass.

Can you name them?

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
1. Do not worship other gods – what do your children see as your gods?

2. Do not worship idols – what are you teaching your children about worship?

3. Do not misuse God’s name – do your children see your CHRISTian walk, and does it misuse His name?

4. Keep the Sabbath holy – what do your children know about the Sabbath from your life?

5. Honor your father & mother – are your children learning to honor God by your honoring your parents?  Do they honor you?

6. Do not murder – are you teaching your children anger and murderous thoughts?

7. Do not commit adultery – will your children understand the sanctity of marriage from what they see in your life today?

8. Do not steal – are you teaching your children to be good stewards of the blessings God has given you?

9. Do not lie – has your child learned about truth and purity from your actions?

10. Do not covet – does your lifestyle and mindset show your children the difference between needs and wants?

The commandments must be taught to your children as patterns for their life and guidance for their attitudes towards others.  Do not wait for someone at church to teach them God’s truths.  You are their stewards.

Again, I encourage you when you have time to click on the tab above for the Ten Commandments and read further about teaching your children what God says about the Commandments.

*satan – I know people capitalize the “S” but, I don’t.  I refuse to give him any status of importance.  He’s a snake, so satan, devil, etc. are lower case, as he is one.

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BEatitudes = Attitudes To Be


BEatitudes:

When I was in college in Atlanta, we traveled over 30 miles on Tuesday night to a Bible study that sometimes had over 400 in attendance.  There was a three-piece band and a speaker.  Simple music, simple truths.  The concept was, “if you teach them, they will come” and we did.  We studied the Bible a passage at a time.  I remember it was the first time I heard the phrase “the Beatitudes are Attitudes to be”.  Most of what God has to teach us and our children is simple truths.  We just like to complicate them.

As parents or workers with children of various ages, we know “attitude”.  We probably get several doses a day.  Have you ever thought about teaching children a conscious attitude; attitudes to be?  Jesus did, and gave a wonderful lesson that we should teach to our children early on.

English lesson:

BEatitudes!

TO BE verb and auxiliary verb

  • present singular 1st person: am (I am)
  • 2nd  person: are (you are)
  • 3rd person:  is (he/she is)

Attitudes are something you ARE and choose to BE.  It is a decision.  Very early on you must teach children that they are choosing their attitudes and those decide how they act.  Their actions have consequences.   At the first sign of an inappropriate attitude you look them straight in the face and say, “you need to make a decision.  Make a good one.  If you continue in this ____ (name it – action or attitude) then YOU are DECIDING and CHOOSING this consequence (name it).”  You have to teach them as early as two that they are ‘asking’ for consequences by their choices.  If they are acting out they choose to be punished.  Do not let them blame you.  Encourage them to choose wisely and receive good consequences.

I hear mom’s say, “he/she’s in their terrible two’s” or, “oh, he/she’s carried the terrible two’s into the terrifying three’s”.  Don’t CLAIM it for goodness sake.  Do something about it.  You do not let children control you or your home.

I know I have said it under other sections, but let me say it again.  Parenting is a SMALL minuscule picture on earth of our Heavenly Father’s relationship with us.  Remember what happens when you try to control your life; you try to control God?  Makes a mess of things doesn’t it?  Well, why are you allowing children to control you and the home?    I see toddlers in control of large adults 4x’s their size and I shake my head and think, “when did you hand them the keys?”  Most turn over control before they are two believe it or not.

I won’t mention which daughter, but one of mine wanted something in the checkout line and I said, “no”.  To which I received a tantrum, her first.  I looked at her and told her she was embarrassing herself and me and that was no way to behave in a store.  I told her to make a decision or I would have to embarrass her.  She continued to scream.  So I dropped to the floor and threw a tantrum.  She was mortified.  She told me I was ‘mbearinsing her’.   I told her I would stop if she did.  Quit laughing, it worked.  We were in Winn Dixie and a mom looked at me and said, “Oh, if I only had the courage to do that.”  There were no more tantrums in the store.  There are those that say not to humiliate your child in public.  HOGWASH! (<~ I have become my mom, it was her fav word).  Half of what is wrong with children is we are protecting them from good child rearing techniques for fear of what others will say or think.  Or worse, what some ‘professional in the world’ says will hurt the child.  The world is not in charge of raising your child.  The truth is, you answer only to God for how you turn out your kids.  Any child still living at home and you pay the bills, is your responsibility, your stewardship under God’s eyes.  I am sorry to say that an out of control teenager did not wake up that way one morning.  It started years before when someone stopped parenting and handed over the keys. It is very hard, but not impossible, to get those keys back and start over.  God expects you do to just that. With a preteen or teen you start with a heart to heart of how it should have been and how it wil be going forward  if you have to take away a lot it is hard  just keep reminding them their choices decide the consequences

Gid gave a manual on teaching attitudes to yourself as well as your children.  These are simple Bible truths that Jesus taught in Matthew 5. (This is greatly simplified due to BLOG constraints – everyone should really do a thorough study of God’s attitudes TO BE.)

  • 3“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (our BEatitude is recognizing we OWE all to God) God is teaching us and we need to teach children, that we are blessed by Him and stewards of all that we have; we should have a humble and thankful spirit and not a proud and greedy one
  • 4“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (our BEatitude of SORROW  for sin that brings repentance, recognizing when we do wrong and REALLY being sorry) God is teaching us, and we need to teach children, that we should be sorrowful over sin and wrong doing; that we are dependent on the Holy Spirit to walk daily in Him and that we cannot do so without Him. Teach them to yield to that conscience; yield to the tugging of the Holy Spirit.  We know when we are doing wrong and we know when we are ignoring that tugging on our conscience.  If we ignore, the Holy Spirit within us grieves.  We ignore that, we harden.
  • 5“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” (our BEatitude of  SUBMISSION to God) God is teaching us, and we should teach our children,  to be quiet and rest in Him, to not get upset when we are wronged but to turn the other cheek and show His love to others as He has shown it to us.  We are to be patient with others as God is with us, that includes being patient with the children you are teaching patience!
  • 6“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” (our BEatitude is one of SENSING our need for God and striving to be more like Him) God is teaching us, and we should teach our children, through two things the human body can understand, hunger and thirst.  These needs keep us alive and our hunger and thirst for righteousness are vital to our spiritual life just as food and water are to our physical body.  Priorities must be set and followed.  Putting God first makes everything else fall in line.
  • 7“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Our BEatitude is one of SHOWING our Christ in our actions) God is teaching us that when we hunger and thirst after Him, our ACTIONS will show Him.  This is our testimony in action.  We show love for others as He has loved us.  For a long description of LOVE see my “For The Greatest Of These is Love” post.  We give forgiveness as we are forgiven.  We show compassion, pity, patience, just as we have been shown them by Him.
  • 8“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Our BEatitude is one of seeking His Holiness) God is teaching us, and we should teach our children,  to put away the world and seek only that which is pure.  God cannot look on iniquity so having it in our heart separates us from Him.  To see God, we must have a pure heart.  Pure hearts come from what we put in our minds through our eyes and ears.
  • 9“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God” (Our BEatitude is one of SOLVING not creating problems) God is teaching us, and we should teach our children, to strive to get along and find good in others and situations.  To establish Peace through Him.  Our light in a dark world should bring comfort and peace.  As the old saying goes, “if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.”  When actions display God in us and not us in the world, then we are part of the solution.
  • 10“Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”(Our BEatitude is one of SELFLESSNESS) God is teaching us, and we should teach our children, that when we take on all of these BEatitudes, the world will not understand.  Sometimes you will be walked over, made fun of and some will even give their lives.  This is hard for us as adults and certainly not something little children can grasp.  We simple must teach them that sometimes, even though we are doing right, bad things are going to happen; people are going to hurt us.  This is when it is even more important TO BE the BEatitudes through His strength in us.
  • 11“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me”(Our BEatitude is one of STEADFASTNESS standing strong in the Power of the Blood).  In America today, Christians are being picked apart and ridiculed.  You and children will face more and more verbal, if not physical, persecution for standing in the testimony of Christ. During these times our resolve may weaken, or we may become apathetic if we do not stand in His Power.  There are times when I just get quiet and pray, “Lord, by the Power of the Blood, for the Victory that HAS BEEN ONE, I bind satan from this situation.  What is bound on earth is bound in Heaven. (Matthew 16:18)  I claim this VICTORY.”  And then I move in His Power, not my own.

Learn the BEatitudes and pass them on to your children.  What’s your BEatitude today?

Renee’ Green                            Copyright 2012
RBGreenDesigns 2020

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Don’t Worry Be Happy


A friend was talking with me this week lamenting my current troubles.  She said she did not know how I stood it?  Well, I don’t.  Sometimes it is overwhelming.  Sometimes I get defeated.  Sometimes I cry and sometimes I am numb.  It is not wrong that I have emotions.  God gave me  emotions.  It is wrong when I give into them and let them control my life and outlook.  Children are always watching how you respond and you are preparing them all through their young lives for how they will respond to life.  For that matter, others and their children are watching you and them as well.   Sometimes what we go through helps others with what they go through in life.   Particularly the un-saved.  We are a walking testimony to our Lord Jesus Christ.  If people know you and your children are Christians, can they tell it by your actions when things are not going smoothly?

The world says, ‘don’t worry be happy’.  But, they mean go party, go get drunk, do drugs, forget and pretend it’s not there in hopes it will go away.  What do your children see you do in a crisis?

Yesterday was my oldest brother’s 64th birthday.  I thought back to 10 years ago when I drove him to his son’s funeral who had died from a brain tumor on my brother’s birthday.  On the 25th of this month it will be 13 years since my middle brother was killed in a plane crash.  I thought about my Dad’s seven months in the hospital and death in June of 1991. Dad and mom both had open heart surgery four weeks apart, dad had a stroke on the operating table and was in the hospital seven months.  My girls were 4 and 9 and went with me everyday to the hospital. This was the same year my oldest brother was in the wreck that kept him in the hospital for five months and left him disabled for life.  My mom spent 18 months in rehab and died the last of January of 2008.  I went almost every day as did my girls and even my granddaughter when they were in town.  The week after my mom’s funeral in Atlanta and the night before her memorial service here in FL, my youngest daughter crawled out of a collapsed building during an EF4 tornado February 5,  2008.  It seems like every month there has been some trial, sometimes devastating.  I realized that over the past 33+ years we have had some very hard times, including Phil losing his job 3 times in company buyouts.  There were times in my daughters’ lives that I was in bed with complications from  lupus.  My girls had to go through so much family pain growing up.  So what did they see?

I do not list these for pity; there are many of you with lists that contain much more difficult times.  I just want you to make a list in your mind and think with me for a minute.  We tend to unconsciously pass on what has been passed on to us.  Sometimes that is a good thing, and sometimes we need to break the cycle.

I cannot take credit, I am passing on what was passed on to me.  What did my parents do?    Growing up I remember dad having 12 deaths in his family over a two-year span.  I thought funerals were the norm.  I remember dad walking out of his huge corporate job over principles and them wondering how they would pay the bills.  I remember when dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and his surgery.  I remember  mom having surgery when I was 12 and so many other hard times.  Hard times.  They are a part of life.  What I remember most is my parents praying.  Yes, I remember tears.  I remember some times there was frustration and anger, briefly.  But, what I remember most is that everything always came down to resting in their faith and trusting their Lord.

Matthew 11:28  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 6:25-34 “ 25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Searching His word for answers and guidance and prayer will always be the answer to all of life’s problems.  I can say that with conviction.  Otherwise I would have lost my mind.  The one thing I remember about mom was her saying, “I’ll pray about it.”  My mom was always teased about having camel’s knees because she was on her knees praying at least once every day until she broke her hip in 2006 at 85 years old.  And even then, she was on her ‘spiritual’ knees until the last year of her life when she had dementia.

Life is hard.  Do not shield your child from that fact.  You are not doing them a favor.  As you go through your trials they are watching.  What do they see?


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The Big Picture


How do you teach a child how BIG God is?  How do you teach them about God’s:

Omnipotence – God can do all things – there is nothing He cannot do

  • Job 42:2 “I know that thou canst do everything, and that no thought can be withheld from thee.”
  • Jeremiah 32:17,27 “Ah Lord God! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee: Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?”
  • Matthew 19:26 “But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible”.
  • Luke 1:37 “For with God nothing shall be impossible.”
  • Revelation 19:6 “And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thundering, saying, Alleluia: for the Lord God omnipotent reigns.”

Omniscience – God has total omniscience – He knows all that can be known

  • Psalm 33:13 “The Lord looketh from heaven; He beholdeth all the sons of men.”
  • Psalm 147:4,5 “He telleth the number of the stars; He calleth them all by their names. Great is our Lord, and of great power: His understanding is infinite.”
  • Isaiah 46:10 “Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure.”
  • Acts 15:18 “Known to God are all His works from the beginning of the world.”

Omnipresence – God is everywhere as Father, Son and Holy Ghost – the Trinity – there is no place that God is not

  • Psalm 113:5 “Who is like unto the Lord our God, who dwells on high.
  • Psalm 139:8 “If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.”
  • Jeremiah 23:23,24 “Am I a God at hand, saith the Lord, and not a God afar off? Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the Lord. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the Lord.”
  • Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

One of my favorite object lessons is the SNOW GLOBE concept.  Anytime you can give a child a hands on lesson, it will be easier for them to understand what you are trying to teach them.

If you place a snow globe in a child’s hand,  you can explain to them the Trinity and characteristics of God.  Explain that just as you are a spouse, parent and child (three distinct people in one), God is Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

  1. God created the world (snow globe)
  2. The world is in His hands (just as they are holding the snow globe)
  3. He can see everything in the world all the time (just as they can see everything in the snow globe)
  4. He is in the world (when they shake – the snow is everywhere – just as the Holy Spirit is everywhere in the world)
  5. He walked on earth just like you and me  as Jesus – (people in globe)
  6. He controls everything about the world (have them shake, turn upside down, etc. to see how they control the entire globe and it is safe in their hands)

Children need a healthy concept of God; one that is full of awe, respect, reverence and love.

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Lighthouse, Compass, Ship’s Wheel


I normally only post one to two times a week.  However, today was … a hard day.  It reminded me of  raising my girls through their hard days and how it was sometimes difficult.

Everyone deals with pain some way, some how.   For me, this is one of those days, when you hurt so bad inside it has to get out.   As an adult I deal with my pain in several ways:

Write – writing about it on my blog
Cook – yes it’s 98 degrees, but it’s raining and I made homemade chili – good old soul food/comfort food for lunch
Shop – OK it was only WalMart for some essentials (not like when my mom would go buy a hat or a new pair of shoes)

One or all of those usually helps (I did all three).  I will tell you that I did my devotionals first.  Of course it helped and led to my writing.  However, when I am hurting I have to get busy.  I am not a saint and reading scripture does not fix things immediately but, it often helps me to think through what I have read while I am busy.  Truthfully, if reading the Scriptures fixed everything immediately, I believe  God would be finished with me here and I would already be in Heaven.   As a human I have to deal with the world and all that happens.  Devotionals are needed, but we all know it does not always ‘fix’ things.  We have to apply the Word to the pain.

Maybe I do not deal with my pain on my own;  maybe God uses others to help me deal.  Or maybe it is just that when I am busy getting things done it helps heal the pain.  I am sure some psychologist would say I am not dealing with what is hurting me.  However, I was raised by a mom that taught, “don’t sit, soak and sour’.  That is one of our Southern-ism sayings for, “toughen up, life’s hard”.

While I agree to a point that moving on is the best thing to do, it is also very important to talk your child through the pain.  Children do not know how to deal with pain on their own.  They watch you and you teach them through your actions.  What are they being taught?  You are setting patterns for them as an adult.  You need to teach them how to deal with pain in their life,  it is not automatic and you do not want them growing up blaming God for bad things in their life.

He steers us through rough waters

So what hurt today and why am I writing?  Well, my cat has been ill and this morning he died.  It was raining and my husband and I stood in the rain to bury him in the garden next to the Oleander bush.  We cried.  I am sure there are those that would say, “wow, over a cat?”.  Well no, it was much more.  It was just another domino in a long, long line of dominoes that include my husband loosing his job in a triple buy out 3 years ago and still not finding work, my mom dying, my daughter having a building collapsed on her in a tornado, my lupus battles, wedding, graduation, other family member deaths … too much of a recital? Sorry.  Just so you get the point, I am not a wimp, but sometimes there is that proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.

Now satan* attacks you during these times and he is not a respecter of age; he will attack your child early on as they go through tragedies in their life.  You never know what will be the last straw.  It may be something simple after many hard battles.  Yes, the death of a pet is tragic.  I can remember everything from a butterfly funeral to a tropical fish funeral.  I also remember my youngest losing her friend to cancer at nine.  I remember their pain and helping them deal with my brother’s plane crash.  I remember helping them through disappointments like not making the squad, missed opportunities, and first crushes.  Pain comes in all shapes and sizes.  Sometimes the little pains hurt more than the big ones.  You have to watch your child and not write them off with, “they’ll get over it”.  Ignoring it will just put it off until later and build a life time of  ‘not dealing’ and baggage they carry into their adult life.

So how do you talk to them?  I love the symbolism of the nautical life.   Explaining to your child how God cares and directs during troubled times is often easier by use of symbolism.  For small children, a visual aide helps; a lighthouse that they can turn on in a dark room, a compass to use as you walk and talk, or a toy boat they can steer in the water.  Of course for older children you can just discuss what they are going through and how God can guide them using scriptures.  Basically, all three of my symbols above point the same way, to Him.

  • The lighthouse – my favorite – He is our lighthouse, a light unto my feet.
  • The ship’s wheel – Steering and guiding us through trouble waters.
  • The compass – He directs our path through the narrow road

    He guides and directs our paths

  1. John 8:12 “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
  2. Psalm 119:105 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
  3. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
  4. Psalms 139:3 “Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.”
  5. Isaiah 48:17  “This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”

Of course small children will not understand how trials and tribulations build character, patience and virtue.

James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

You need to continually reinforce that you are there for them as He is always there for them.  Above all, watch during hard times for open doors from the Lord to use that time to point towards Him.

*satan – I know people capitalize the “S” but, I don’t.  I refuse to give him any status of importance.  He’s a snake, so satan, devil, etc. are lower case, as he is one.