family time

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Celebrate Life (*IMHO)


Life Is Precious - Treat with Awe

We are celebrating our victorious child’s 34th birthday this week. She truly was a victory.  After five very difficult pregnancies she was born.  We first found out we were expecting her because I was being treated for bronchial pneumonia.  Due to the meds I was on that ‘could’ leave her brain-damaged, the other bad pregnancies and health risk to me and the fact Phil had lost his job, the doctor advised abortion. 

I was not new to this advice.  I received it with my second pregnancy while in the hospital during a miscarriage.  I actually lost a twin, but still had one baby.  I had lost my first child at age 24. Now at 27 I was finally expecting again. The doctor cautioned and suggested I go ahead and abort the remaining twin. After all, she had about a 10% chance of living, probably was brain-damaged and was a high risk to my health in my current condition.  I did die on the operating table with our oldest, but God had other plans.  After 10 days in the hospital I went home with a 9 pound normal and healthy baby girl.

Both of my girls are gifts from God and He knew when the doctors did not.  God IS the master physician. Neither was brain damaged, in fact just the opposite.  Both are college grads, married and are mothers.

I named our oldest Rebekah Kristen, rebirth in Christ, as both of us were given a second chance at life.  I named our youngest Victoria Paige, victorious child, as she truly was a victory against all odds.  Naming your children is very important.  Naming is important to God. God gives so many examples of why people were named what they were in the Bible.  For example:

Gen 35:10 “God said to him, ‘Your name is Jacob; You shall no longer be called Jacob, But Israel shall be your name.‘ So He called him Israel.“
Gen 5:29 “And he named him Noah, saying, ‘This one will give us comfort from our work and from the hard labor of our hands caused by the ground which the Lord has cursed.‘”

Equally important is raising them knowing WHY they were given their name.  It builds character and purpose.

When Victoria was in high school, she had to write a persuasive essay for English.  Since abortion was controversial many students wrote on that subject.  The teacher had already read them so she knew Victoria had taken the narrow path and had her present her’s last.  Her’s was the only pro-life paper. Not only did she state the facts about how it is used as birth control and that the statistics of its need for mothers at risk, rape, and incest (which are extremely rare – less than 1%); she told them about my decisions with her sister and her births.  Most of them did not know the facts and most of them were just parroting the popular voice.  Some argued we would have felt differently if she HAD been born deformed or brain-damaged.   She was able to tell them that we refused the amniocentesis test that would have shown such conditions as our resolve in accepting God’s will no matter the outcome.

So how did the world get to this state about human life?  When did we lose the awe over creation?  In my opinion it has been subtle.  I believe we as Christians are as much to blame as anyone.  We have treated motherhood as common and become flippant in our approach.  Why should the world treat life sacred and with awe when we have joined their ranks in the treatment of motherhood? 

I truly believe that if we want the public to treat an unborn baby as a baby then we need to be the first to do so.  I firmly believe that if we as Christians do not change our treatment of motherhood and birth to align with God’s word and then raise our children with the same teachings, then we can see life treated with less and less respect.

Birth is about a living soul, created by God.  God knows us from before we were born.

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

He does not label us as a ‘pea’, a ‘kidney bean’, a ‘peanut’ or a ‘bump’.  He would never treat us so trivial.  He would not focus on the mom and her physique and draw attention away from the awe of birth.

1 Peter 3:3 “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

I believe the Bible means we are not to be worldly and take on the worlds displays of dressing and that includes motherhood.  We have become flippant and tolerant of the world’s views on life.  Women are drawing attention to themselves and referring to their ‘bumps’ instead of their child given by God.  I am sadden by some Christian women who believe God’s Word yet do not follow Proverbs 31:30 and 1 Timothy 2:9-10. Motherhood has become about them instead of their testimony to God’s love and graciousness. They place photos of exposed stomachs on their social media and show off in public.

Birth is NOT a celebration about a woman’s body, but a celebration of a new life.  How sad that we have misplaced the focus and missed all these opportunities to testify to God’s wonder and miracle of birth to the masses.

So the next time you defend Pro-life and anti-abortion views, make sure your actions are not treating the unborn lives flippantly and worldly.  The world watches actions. That child is not a bump, it is a baby, a miracle created by God.  Handle with care.

*In My Humble Opinion – I know this is not going to be a popular post but, I believe that we as Christians need to check our actions against our words and views and His word.  How do we as Christians expect the world to view life with reverence if we treat it worldly ourselves?

RBGreenDesigns.com 2020

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It’s Me or Them!


From May to October there is a common sight along the shorelines here in FL.  Sea Turtles come ashore and deposit their eggs.  Humans walk the beach each morning looking for the tracks they leave and stake out their nests, cord them off and post signs to protect the nest and the future baby turtles.

Left in Others Care

Some people are sea turtles – drop the eggs on the beach and swim away letting them hatch or not, and make their way in the world if they can.  The parent turtle goes back on its course and lives their life.  As humans these parents tuck their heads in when they don’t like what they see.  They may not abandon their offspring physically but, they do mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  They tend to their own selfish needs and seek out their own path and pleasures.  They are all about ‘me’ and never ‘them’.

More and more I am saddened by the parenting I see in public.  They can’t put their book down or get up from tanning on the beach or what ever they are doing for THEMself at the time.  They have no time to be bothered with taking their young to the rest room; seeing they are not in danger or are not bothering others on the beach.  “Hey Joe, take little Johnny to the bathroom!” says the mom.  “No, it’s your turn”, says Joe.  Little Johnny sits there wondering if anyone cares about him.  When he’s in a dangerous area around the rocks the Lifeguard finally talks to him and then the parents.  These parents are in the malls and stores as well. Store clerks and security pick up their messes, stop them from hurting themselves and finally help them find their parents when they are lost.

Growing up there was a saying, “if they act like that in public, I wonder how they act at home?”  That phrase could be applied to everything from “they need a spanking” (children) to PDA (public display of affection).   Today I am using it to refer to parenting.  If they do not act like parents in public, how much worse are they at home?  So many parents are focused on one thing, “ME”.  The children get what is left.  As Christian parents we quickly say, “no, I do not put myself before the kids”.   We see to all our kids ‘needs’.  However, satan* is subtle and oh so stealthily he has swung us towards the ‘me’ from the ‘them’ in our attitudes.

Ever Watchful, Diligent.

As mom’s we should be lionesses and as dad’s we should be lions.  God has provided in nature the very attitudes we as parents should take in the protection and raising of our young.  God expects us to be always watching, taking turns, seeing to ALL the needs of our young.  Raising them in all aspects of life so they can become a complete adult.  We as parents are responsible for showing them God by the way we treat them.  We treat them as God treats us and so we should by our actions be teaching our children they are made by God (physically) loved by God (emotionally), taught by God’s word (mentally) and guided by God (spiritually).  As we teach them about God  we are preparing them as adults to seek God in all areas of life: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  Do you think that you get on God’s ‘last nerve’? Exactly, remember that when dealing with your children.

God expects us daily to see they are RAISED in the Lord that they may live up to their potential in Him.  Are you a lion/lioness or a sea turtle?

*satan – I know people capitalize the “S” but, I don’t.  I refuse to give him any status of importance.  He’s a snake, so satan, devil, etc. are lower case, as he is one.
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Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep …


Teach Your Child to Pray

My granddaughters are visiting from overseas this month.  It is amazing to see how much young children grasps these days.  I have had some interesting conversations with the four-year old. She has asked such interesting  questions including ones about God, Jesus and Heaven.   I cannot say it enough, start them young.   Children learn so much early on in life and can grasp far more than you realize.  You set their course and ‘patterns’.  Everything from keeping socks and shoes on, to baths, brushing teeth, combing hair, cleaning up toys and bedtime is a pattern you teach your child; something they get use to as the ‘norm’.  We also have to set their ‘patterns’ for their spiritual life early on.  I do not mean rituals or set in stone practices.  I mean raising them with God in their life daily. Times to Pray, to sing His songs, to read His word and to praise Him.

One of the most important parts of their life should be prayer.  From infancy children need to hear you pray and need to learn to pray as they learn to speak.  Many teach, “God is Great, God is Good” at meal time, or “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die …” at bedtime.  Not a fan of teaching children the bedtime one … “if I should die?”  OK, I understand the concept of wanting children to know God’s care, however, I believe they would better understand a different approach.  Teaching children to pray should be like teaching them to talk to you.  You know how you hate it when they ask the same questions 1000 times, or tell you the same thing over and over and over again?  Don’t you think God feels a little the same way about His children (which includes us adults)?

God wants conversations with us, not patterns and rituals.  When we teach repetition, when we use repetition ourselves, we are not communicating, we are programming.  There is nothing wrong with teaching your children those prayers, or the Lord’s Prayer (John 17:1-5) and Disciples Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13).  God gave us those in His word to teach us HOW to pray, not WHAT to pray.  Memorized prayers should NOT be the only way of praying your children learn.  Praying to God should be natural and real, not programmed or forced.  I know you have heard adults that when they pray you know what is going to come next.

“Dear God (or Heavenly Father, Lord, etc.), Father thank you for …. Father God bless this ….. Father give this …. In Your name Father.”

Same prayer every time.  I can think of a few that insert “Dear Father, or Dear Lord into every sentence about three to four times.”  Reverence is one thing, but repetition must be so tedious to God.  Do you think we bore God with our prayers?  Can you think of someone who when you talk with them the conversations are usually the same?  They go down their lists of kids, problems, wants?  God wants us to talk WITH Him, not AT Him.  Of course there will be some concerns you voice daily (maybe several times a day), but, could God press a button on a recorder and get the same message from you daily, or is it fresh and new as the day He has given you?

Our family grew up with Bible reading and prayer everyday (even if we missed the school bus) from The Child’s Story Bible by Catherine Vos.   We all knelt after dad or mom read the Bible and went around the room praying.  We learned to pray in conversation with God.  So when I had my own girls we always prayed in conversation.  They learned God is Great at the church preschool to pray as a group over snack, and that was great.  But, at home they learned to talk WITH God and not AT Him.  “Thank you for my favorite food … for mom that cooked it … for the dessert I see …”, is much more real coming from a child’s mouth towards Heaven then, “God is great” or “Dear God, bless this bunch as we munch our lunch” (one of my cousin’s favorites).   Talking with God is not a duty.  It is a privileged, a way to praise Him and help us grow to know Him.

When my children were little  the preacher called the children forward once a month to share with them before leaving for Children’s church.  After his little talk he would ask if one of the children would want to pray for them before they left the sanctuary.  One Sunday my three-year old walked over and took the microphone.  (OK, so shyness is NOT in our genes).  The pastor was a little surprised but handed her the microphone, (I held my breath), everyone was going ahhh.  And then she prayed.  Not God is Good … not Now I lay me …, but she just sweetly talked to Jesus, a real prayer in three-year old terms.  I do not remember word for word, but it went something like, “Jesus please take care of us, we love You.  In Jesus name.  Amen.”   She already knew to start by addressing WHO He was, JESUS.  She knew to tell Him she loved Him. She asked Him to take care of them and she knew how to close the prayer.  Honestly, that was not anything we did other than always praying in front of the children.  The Holy Spirit works in our children’s lives drawing them to Him.  Make sure He is the one at work in their life because if you leave the void empty, satan* will fill it.

Prayer … it’s talking with God, not at Him.  Are you talking with Him in front of your children and teaching them the great value of conversations with the Lord?

*satan – I know people capitalize the “S” but, I don’t.  I refuse to give him any status of importance.  He’s a snake, so satan, devil, etc. are lower case, as he is one.
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Lighthouse, Compass, Ship’s Wheel


I normally only post one to two times a week.  However, today was … a hard day.  It reminded me of  raising my girls through their hard days and how it was sometimes difficult.

Everyone deals with pain some way, some how.   For me, this is one of those days, when you hurt so bad inside it has to get out.   As an adult I deal with my pain in several ways:

Write – writing about it on my blog
Cook – yes it’s 98 degrees, but it’s raining and I made homemade chili – good old soul food/comfort food for lunch
Shop – OK it was only WalMart for some essentials (not like when my mom would go buy a hat or a new pair of shoes)

One or all of those usually helps (I did all three).  I will tell you that I did my devotionals first.  Of course it helped and led to my writing.  However, when I am hurting I have to get busy.  I am not a saint and reading scripture does not fix things immediately but, it often helps me to think through what I have read while I am busy.  Truthfully, if reading the Scriptures fixed everything immediately, I believe  God would be finished with me here and I would already be in Heaven.   As a human I have to deal with the world and all that happens.  Devotionals are needed, but we all know it does not always ‘fix’ things.  We have to apply the Word to the pain.

Maybe I do not deal with my pain on my own;  maybe God uses others to help me deal.  Or maybe it is just that when I am busy getting things done it helps heal the pain.  I am sure some psychologist would say I am not dealing with what is hurting me.  However, I was raised by a mom that taught, “don’t sit, soak and sour’.  That is one of our Southern-ism sayings for, “toughen up, life’s hard”.

While I agree to a point that moving on is the best thing to do, it is also very important to talk your child through the pain.  Children do not know how to deal with pain on their own.  They watch you and you teach them through your actions.  What are they being taught?  You are setting patterns for them as an adult.  You need to teach them how to deal with pain in their life,  it is not automatic and you do not want them growing up blaming God for bad things in their life.

He steers us through rough waters

So what hurt today and why am I writing?  Well, my cat has been ill and this morning he died.  It was raining and my husband and I stood in the rain to bury him in the garden next to the Oleander bush.  We cried.  I am sure there are those that would say, “wow, over a cat?”.  Well no, it was much more.  It was just another domino in a long, long line of dominoes that include my husband loosing his job in a triple buy out 3 years ago and still not finding work, my mom dying, my daughter having a building collapsed on her in a tornado, my lupus battles, wedding, graduation, other family member deaths … too much of a recital? Sorry.  Just so you get the point, I am not a wimp, but sometimes there is that proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.

Now satan* attacks you during these times and he is not a respecter of age; he will attack your child early on as they go through tragedies in their life.  You never know what will be the last straw.  It may be something simple after many hard battles.  Yes, the death of a pet is tragic.  I can remember everything from a butterfly funeral to a tropical fish funeral.  I also remember my youngest losing her friend to cancer at nine.  I remember their pain and helping them deal with my brother’s plane crash.  I remember helping them through disappointments like not making the squad, missed opportunities, and first crushes.  Pain comes in all shapes and sizes.  Sometimes the little pains hurt more than the big ones.  You have to watch your child and not write them off with, “they’ll get over it”.  Ignoring it will just put it off until later and build a life time of  ‘not dealing’ and baggage they carry into their adult life.

So how do you talk to them?  I love the symbolism of the nautical life.   Explaining to your child how God cares and directs during troubled times is often easier by use of symbolism.  For small children, a visual aide helps; a lighthouse that they can turn on in a dark room, a compass to use as you walk and talk, or a toy boat they can steer in the water.  Of course for older children you can just discuss what they are going through and how God can guide them using scriptures.  Basically, all three of my symbols above point the same way, to Him.

  • The lighthouse – my favorite – He is our lighthouse, a light unto my feet.
  • The ship’s wheel – Steering and guiding us through trouble waters.
  • The compass – He directs our path through the narrow road

    He guides and directs our paths

  1. John 8:12 “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
  2. Psalm 119:105 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
  3. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
  4. Psalms 139:3 “Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.”
  5. Isaiah 48:17  “This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”

Of course small children will not understand how trials and tribulations build character, patience and virtue.

James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

You need to continually reinforce that you are there for them as He is always there for them.  Above all, watch during hard times for open doors from the Lord to use that time to point towards Him.

*satan – I know people capitalize the “S” but, I don’t.  I refuse to give him any status of importance.  He’s a snake, so satan, devil, etc. are lower case, as he is one.

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Practical Lessons


Today I have spent time adding a new tab to my blog, Practical Lessons.  It is summertime and rather than allow your children to vegetate in front of some electronic device, find ways to teach them about God.  I had an adult S.S. teacher that called this “I SPY GOD”.  It is good for all of us to constantly see God in all that we do and arm ourselves against satan’s attacks.  There is so much to learn about God, from the kitchen to the shore, to the back deck and more.  (I know, but I love to rhyme).  I hope you enjoy the few lessons I have put up and will add to them from time to time just as I add to Gwen’s Pen and Dinner Time.  ENJOY!

PS: These are excerpts from my book and are copyrighted (sorry, have to throw the legal jargon in – see my copyright notice for blog at bottom as well).