quality time

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Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep …


Teach Your Child to Pray

My granddaughters are visiting from overseas this month.  It is amazing to see how much young children grasps these days.  I have had some interesting conversations with the four-year old. She has asked such interesting  questions including ones about God, Jesus and Heaven.   I cannot say it enough, start them young.   Children learn so much early on in life and can grasp far more than you realize.  You set their course and ‘patterns’.  Everything from keeping socks and shoes on, to baths, brushing teeth, combing hair, cleaning up toys and bedtime is a pattern you teach your child; something they get use to as the ‘norm’.  We also have to set their ‘patterns’ for their spiritual life early on.  I do not mean rituals or set in stone practices.  I mean raising them with God in their life daily. Times to Pray, to sing His songs, to read His word and to praise Him.

One of the most important parts of their life should be prayer.  From infancy children need to hear you pray and need to learn to pray as they learn to speak.  Many teach, “God is Great, God is Good” at meal time, or “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die …” at bedtime.  Not a fan of teaching children the bedtime one … “if I should die?”  OK, I understand the concept of wanting children to know God’s care, however, I believe they would better understand a different approach.  Teaching children to pray should be like teaching them to talk to you.  You know how you hate it when they ask the same questions 1000 times, or tell you the same thing over and over and over again?  Don’t you think God feels a little the same way about His children (which includes us adults)?

God wants conversations with us, not patterns and rituals.  When we teach repetition, when we use repetition ourselves, we are not communicating, we are programming.  There is nothing wrong with teaching your children those prayers, or the Lord’s Prayer (John 17:1-5) and Disciples Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13).  God gave us those in His word to teach us HOW to pray, not WHAT to pray.  Memorized prayers should NOT be the only way of praying your children learn.  Praying to God should be natural and real, not programmed or forced.  I know you have heard adults that when they pray you know what is going to come next.

“Dear God (or Heavenly Father, Lord, etc.), Father thank you for …. Father God bless this ….. Father give this …. In Your name Father.”

Same prayer every time.  I can think of a few that insert “Dear Father, or Dear Lord into every sentence about three to four times.”  Reverence is one thing, but repetition must be so tedious to God.  Do you think we bore God with our prayers?  Can you think of someone who when you talk with them the conversations are usually the same?  They go down their lists of kids, problems, wants?  God wants us to talk WITH Him, not AT Him.  Of course there will be some concerns you voice daily (maybe several times a day), but, could God press a button on a recorder and get the same message from you daily, or is it fresh and new as the day He has given you?

Our family grew up with Bible reading and prayer everyday (even if we missed the school bus) from The Child’s Story Bible by Catherine Vos.   We all knelt after dad or mom read the Bible and went around the room praying.  We learned to pray in conversation with God.  So when I had my own girls we always prayed in conversation.  They learned God is Great at the church preschool to pray as a group over snack, and that was great.  But, at home they learned to talk WITH God and not AT Him.  “Thank you for my favorite food … for mom that cooked it … for the dessert I see …”, is much more real coming from a child’s mouth towards Heaven then, “God is great” or “Dear God, bless this bunch as we munch our lunch” (one of my cousin’s favorites).   Talking with God is not a duty.  It is a privileged, a way to praise Him and help us grow to know Him.

When my children were little  the preacher called the children forward once a month to share with them before leaving for Children’s church.  After his little talk he would ask if one of the children would want to pray for them before they left the sanctuary.  One Sunday my three-year old walked over and took the microphone.  (OK, so shyness is NOT in our genes).  The pastor was a little surprised but handed her the microphone, (I held my breath), everyone was going ahhh.  And then she prayed.  Not God is Good … not Now I lay me …, but she just sweetly talked to Jesus, a real prayer in three-year old terms.  I do not remember word for word, but it went something like, “Jesus please take care of us, we love You.  In Jesus name.  Amen.”   She already knew to start by addressing WHO He was, JESUS.  She knew to tell Him she loved Him. She asked Him to take care of them and she knew how to close the prayer.  Honestly, that was not anything we did other than always praying in front of the children.  The Holy Spirit works in our children’s lives drawing them to Him.  Make sure He is the one at work in their life because if you leave the void empty, satan* will fill it.

Prayer … it’s talking with God, not at Him.  Are you talking with Him in front of your children and teaching them the great value of conversations with the Lord?

*satan – I know people capitalize the “S” but, I don’t.  I refuse to give him any status of importance.  He’s a snake, so satan, devil, etc. are lower case, as he is one.
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Lighthouse, Compass, Ship’s Wheel


I normally only post one to two times a week.  However, today was … a hard day.  It reminded me of  raising my girls through their hard days and how it was sometimes difficult.

Everyone deals with pain some way, some how.   For me, this is one of those days, when you hurt so bad inside it has to get out.   As an adult I deal with my pain in several ways:

Write – writing about it on my blog
Cook – yes it’s 98 degrees, but it’s raining and I made homemade chili – good old soul food/comfort food for lunch
Shop – OK it was only WalMart for some essentials (not like when my mom would go buy a hat or a new pair of shoes)

One or all of those usually helps (I did all three).  I will tell you that I did my devotionals first.  Of course it helped and led to my writing.  However, when I am hurting I have to get busy.  I am not a saint and reading scripture does not fix things immediately but, it often helps me to think through what I have read while I am busy.  Truthfully, if reading the Scriptures fixed everything immediately, I believe  God would be finished with me here and I would already be in Heaven.   As a human I have to deal with the world and all that happens.  Devotionals are needed, but we all know it does not always ‘fix’ things.  We have to apply the Word to the pain.

Maybe I do not deal with my pain on my own;  maybe God uses others to help me deal.  Or maybe it is just that when I am busy getting things done it helps heal the pain.  I am sure some psychologist would say I am not dealing with what is hurting me.  However, I was raised by a mom that taught, “don’t sit, soak and sour’.  That is one of our Southern-ism sayings for, “toughen up, life’s hard”.

While I agree to a point that moving on is the best thing to do, it is also very important to talk your child through the pain.  Children do not know how to deal with pain on their own.  They watch you and you teach them through your actions.  What are they being taught?  You are setting patterns for them as an adult.  You need to teach them how to deal with pain in their life,  it is not automatic and you do not want them growing up blaming God for bad things in their life.

He steers us through rough waters

So what hurt today and why am I writing?  Well, my cat has been ill and this morning he died.  It was raining and my husband and I stood in the rain to bury him in the garden next to the Oleander bush.  We cried.  I am sure there are those that would say, “wow, over a cat?”.  Well no, it was much more.  It was just another domino in a long, long line of dominoes that include my husband loosing his job in a triple buy out 3 years ago and still not finding work, my mom dying, my daughter having a building collapsed on her in a tornado, my lupus battles, wedding, graduation, other family member deaths … too much of a recital? Sorry.  Just so you get the point, I am not a wimp, but sometimes there is that proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.

Now satan* attacks you during these times and he is not a respecter of age; he will attack your child early on as they go through tragedies in their life.  You never know what will be the last straw.  It may be something simple after many hard battles.  Yes, the death of a pet is tragic.  I can remember everything from a butterfly funeral to a tropical fish funeral.  I also remember my youngest losing her friend to cancer at nine.  I remember their pain and helping them deal with my brother’s plane crash.  I remember helping them through disappointments like not making the squad, missed opportunities, and first crushes.  Pain comes in all shapes and sizes.  Sometimes the little pains hurt more than the big ones.  You have to watch your child and not write them off with, “they’ll get over it”.  Ignoring it will just put it off until later and build a life time of  ‘not dealing’ and baggage they carry into their adult life.

So how do you talk to them?  I love the symbolism of the nautical life.   Explaining to your child how God cares and directs during troubled times is often easier by use of symbolism.  For small children, a visual aide helps; a lighthouse that they can turn on in a dark room, a compass to use as you walk and talk, or a toy boat they can steer in the water.  Of course for older children you can just discuss what they are going through and how God can guide them using scriptures.  Basically, all three of my symbols above point the same way, to Him.

  • The lighthouse – my favorite – He is our lighthouse, a light unto my feet.
  • The ship’s wheel – Steering and guiding us through trouble waters.
  • The compass – He directs our path through the narrow road

    He guides and directs our paths

  1. John 8:12 “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
  2. Psalm 119:105 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
  3. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
  4. Psalms 139:3 “Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.”
  5. Isaiah 48:17  “This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”

Of course small children will not understand how trials and tribulations build character, patience and virtue.

James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

You need to continually reinforce that you are there for them as He is always there for them.  Above all, watch during hard times for open doors from the Lord to use that time to point towards Him.

*satan – I know people capitalize the “S” but, I don’t.  I refuse to give him any status of importance.  He’s a snake, so satan, devil, etc. are lower case, as he is one.

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Is God Deaf?


Do you know how your kids quit listening when you are screaming at them?  Or how you quit hearing someone who is too loud and just get angry and tune them out?   Noise.   Sometimes we are just noise.  I wonder what God feels about noise?

“God’s word says in Psalm 100:1,  Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.”

Is God Deaf? Then Why Do We Act Like it?

But, what is noise?  Webster’s Dictionary says:

1 : loud, confused, or senseless shouting or outcry
2 a : sound; especially : one that lacks agreeable musical quality or is noticeably unpleasant b : any sound that is undesired or interferes with one’s hearing of something c : an unwanted signal or a disturbance (as static or a variation of voltage) in an electronic device or instrument (as radio or television); broadly : a disturbance interfering with the operation of a usually mechanical device or system d : electromagnetic radiation (as light or radio waves) that is composed of several frequencies and that involves random changes in frequency or amplitude e : irrelevant or meaningless data or output occurring along with desired information
3 : common talk : rumor; especially : slander
4 : something that attracts attention <the play…will make little noise in the world — Brendan Gill>
5 : something spoken or uttered
6 : a style of rock music that is loud, often discordant, and usually uses electronic noise (as feedback)

I seriously doubt this is what God was looking for, however, sometimes I think that is what we give Him.   Is God deaf?  Of course not, but sometimes we praise Him as if He is.  Louder is not always better if the message is lost and we are not drawn closer to the Lord.  The Lord and His message should always be the utmost focus of our praise no matter how we are praising.

How are we teaching our children to praise the Lord?  Everyone is different and they all need to be able to praise Him.   The Bible in Basic English translation says, “Make a glad sound to the Lord, all the earth.”  Now, that I can relate to. Last night was one of those nights where you hear everything; the distant train, the frogs croaking, the cat stretching.  They were all soft sounds, but I heard them all distinct and clear.  This morning I went out to work in the yard before the sun hit the area.  I heard a dove cooing, a lizard scurrying, a squirrel’s chatter.  All soft, but I heard them.  I like quiet.  Quiet, quiets me.  When Jesus went into the Garden of Gethsemane the Bible says in Matthew 26:36-46, that He knelt alone in quiet prayer.  When I am praying and praising the Lord, the quieter I get, the more I am praising Him.  That is who I am, because I am an outgoing, outspoken person, I need to be quiet to praise the Lord the most.  Everyone praises differently.  Everything praises the Lord. Niagara is magnificent, but there are more underground streams, babbling brooks, forest and mountain streams then there are magnificent waterfalls. All life praises the Lord. The soaring Eagle praises the Lord, but so does the Hummingbird whose wings are the only sound you hear.

Children as they grow learn how to praise the Lord in their own way. Some, unfortunately, are just following their peers.   So many are just  following the ‘band’ and not the ‘leader’. They talk about ‘the band’ and not the ‘leader’ or His ‘message’. When they go to hear the band  they talk only  about how good the music was and they never mention the Lord or His message.  This is when they have raised a false god and have lost sight of the ‘leader’ and the ‘message’. Encourage your child to praise the Lord in their own way as long as they always hear His message and focus on the Lord.

Consider:
Psalm 23:2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters…

Ecclesiastes 9:17 The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-1211Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

Isaiah 32:17 The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.

1 Peter 3:4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

MLA Style
“noise.” Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. 2010.

Merriam-Webster Online. 21 June 2010
<http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/noise&gt;

APA Style

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Got Time?


Make Time For Family!

Family that plays together ...

Today I watched several families at church interact and it brought to mind several years ago when my husband and I went out to dinner to celebrate my birthday.   We had a great view of the ocean in a quiet corner.  There was soft music, candlelight, and good food, everything conducive to paying attention to each other.  Shortly after sitting down a family of seven was seated nearby consisting of two grand-parents, two parents and three children.  The youngest was small enough to need a booster seat and the middle child was about 9 or 10 years old.  The oldest was probably 14 or 15 years old.  Everyone was barely in their seats before all the electronics were pulled out.  The smallest had a portable DVD player with ear phones and was watching the latest Barbie movie.  The middle child, a boy, pulled out a hand-held video game player and was furiously working his thumbs.  The oldest girl had her cell phone out and was texting away.  I watched off and on throughout the dinner.  The children were quiet, it was true, but with three generations sitting together there was no interaction among the different family members.  It was clear that electronics had long been the babysitter, their parent and best friend.

Dinner time.  Brings back so many memories doesn’t it?  You gathered every night at the table, everyone talking at once.  Stories of the day at school, a meeting or work.  Fellowship, camaraderie, socializing … just being a family.   Some of my fondest memories are reunions and church gatherings with plenty of food and places to sit and talk.   But then came the gadgets, the electronics that made our lives simpler so we could spend more time together.  Right?  Sadly, it has not turned out that way.   We have lost the ability to communicate and function.   No one can function without their electronics.  We live and breathe by them.  If we have a power failure we will not know what to do.

The term dysfunctional family is tossed around like seeds to the ground hoping they will take root and grow into something.  The truth is that we need to make our families function again as God intended.  It saddens me to see families ‘together’ without being together.  We are going to have to take action.   Somewhere the keys of control were handed over to the children to the point that no control reaches them.  They all function autonomously.  I doubt that you will be the most popular parent when you take the reins and slow things down.  You must start by taking back the controls so that you can function again as a family.  Saying ‘no’ is harder than allowing them to go their merry way.

I believe that by allowing them to run their lives free of control, parents are setting an example for their spiritual life as well.  There is a place for control in everyone’s life.  We all need to control ourselves, self discipline is so important to turning over our lives to the Lord.  You cannot be successful in a  friendship, relationship, or family until you are successful in your relationship with Christ.   You will have to bring everything to a full STOP.  Control cannot be taken over at 100 miles an hour without a wreck.  STOP.  Look to the Bible and see what God says.  “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) and ” Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger (James 1:19), are good verses to apply in handing over the reins to God.  Children need to be trained from early on about control, boundaries and self discipline.  For those who started late you simply have to start small with your children.  You will have to teach them control, self discipline and applying the truths of the Word in their life through the example of your own life.

In thinking about meal time I have decided to start another page solely for meals.  My daughters call me from time to time for recipes and hints about shopping and cooking.  So notice my new tab “What’s For Dinner” and let me know what you think!

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I Get No Respect


I actually had a student tell me recently that I had to earn their respect and that it was not automatic.  When I asked if their parents had taught them that, they said no and added that their parents also had to earn their respect.  Of course I asked them if that was what they wanted from me; to have to earn my respect?  The student continued the discussion with comments like, “just because you are an adult doesn’t mean I have to respect you”.  Of course these ideas are coming from everywhere, the media, movies, video games, TV … they all are filled with youth that have no regard for authority, position and have little, if any sense, of decorum.  Much is learned from parents as well, who show little respect to others.  It is the ‘do as I say do, not as I do’ syndrome.

The Bible mentions the word  ‘respect’ and/or ‘honor’, in several forms.  All are signs of character and/or because of good character.  These are  traits we want to teach our children.

RESPECT:

  • Leviticus 19:3  ‘Each of you must respect his mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths.  I am the LORD your God.’
  • Leviticus 19:32 ‘Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.’
  • Exodus 20:12  ‘Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.’
  • Ephesians 6:1 ‘Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.’

HONOR:

  • Receiving honor: ex. birthright – Exodus 4:22; Psalms 89:27; Jeremiah 31:9; Romans 8:29; Colossians 1:15
  • Showing honor: ex. diligence in what you do Proverbs 12:24;22:29
  • Place of honor: ex. at the right hand – Psalms 45:9; Psalms 80:17 ; 2 Chronicles 24:16,25; 21:2
  • Position of honor: ex. placed in a position to honor – 2 Kings 25:27-30; Jeremiah 52:31-35
  • Act in honor: ex. actions of honorable men and women – Acts 17:10-21
  • Dishonoring: ex. Not honored among peers – Matthew 13:57; Luke 4:24-27; John 4:44
  • Honor to the elders: ex. honoring the aged – Job 32:6,7

Respect and honor, both are important to the Lord.  You must show Him respect (another blog), then your parents (no age limit here – they are always your parents), and then others.  Many of the Beatitudes relate to respect … they are ‘attitudes to be’.  Do as you say do, your children are watching.