My shaking is in equal proportion to my lack of trust. This thought occurred to me after one of my “life experiences”.
Have you ever walked a rope bridge and the very shaking as you walked scared you to death? Then someone goes bounding by and makes it shake even worse? You have to remain calm, grab the guide ropes, focus on your steps, the end of the bridge is the goal. You cannot look at the speedster, look around, down over the edge, or behind to get calm. You trust the bridge will hold because the guidelines are tied to the boards. You stand solid on the boards, hold the guide rope and then proceed, one step at a time.
Life experiences, your bridges, are to make you grow. As each bridge is walked over you should begin to not feel shakes because you trust the guideline you are holding onto. The shakes are simply movement, part of the process of getting from where you were to where you are going. You have to take the bridge.
I literally have been scared to death by some of the bridges in life I have traveled. I do not ride zip lines, roller coasters, sky dive or rock climb. I mean, why jump out of a perfectly good plane, right? I know some people get their thrills from challenging death. My life’s bridges have provided enough scared to death moments.
- At eight years of age I was pulled under the surf in Panama City, FL. My mother got to me before the lifeguard. I spent two weeks in bed with ruptured eardrums, carbuncles on them and infections. I would not go in the ocean over my ankles until decades later. I could not wash my hair in the shower. I washed it in the sink. I was scared to death of being under water.
- At 16 I was a few feet away as I witness a stabbing to a guy’s heart after a football game. I was taken by deputies to identify the assailants, face to face, still in my majorette uniform. I was threatened for months before the trial if I testified. The trial was horrific and I was terrified. I couldn’t sleep without a light on. I was scared to death of the dark; of certain types of guys.
- At 27 I was lost during an emergency C-Section. Obviously, they brought me back. But, during subsequent pregnancies I was scared to death of what was going to happen with that pregnancy. I was scared to death I would not live to see my baby.
- When my brother died in a plane crash I became scared to death to fly. I had to take tranquilizers to get on a plane to an already planned convention just two months afterwards. I would not if I could get there any other way.
- When I became conscious briefly, after my double bleed stroke, I realized they were placing me in an air flight from one hospital to another. First reaction was to fight, I was still scared to death of flying. After they discovered the DVA in my brain (from birth) that had ruptured, I lived in fear it would rupture again.