A Mom by any other name is…

A mom is NOT a

Stay at home mom
Doesn’t work out of the home mom
Homemaker mom
Works out of the home mom
Career Mom
Birth Mom
Adoptive Mom
Foster Mom
Guardian mom

Or any other adjective for ‘MOM”. I understand there are legal purposes where there are adjectives needed to protect a child and or give permission of care. But, that says what they are, not who they are. At some point in time these women must decided to be a mom in actions, not just name.

Not all women that give birth are mom’s. Neither are those that have to take on raising a family member’s children. They might be mothers but they are nothing close to a mothering person. Even if a birth mother keeps their child and raises them, that does not make them a mom. Mom. Mother. We have lost the real meanings of these words.

I stood in the grocery line. The little child, maybe 5 or 6, still clutched the coloring book they had found following behind their adult. She called her mom. But, she was not a mom. Yes, I am judging. But, the evidence was right there in front of the cashier and other shoppers. Eyes rolled, mouths grimaced, fists clinched as we all watched the child. “Mom, she pleaded. It’s all I want. It’s not much.” The mom yanked it out of her hand and shoved it on the magazine rack. “No, I said. I don’t have the money for it.” The little girl had dirty nails. Her hair had not been brushed. Their were stains on her too big clothes; probably hand-me-downs. Her feet were dirty in her flip flops a size too small. The bug bites on her legs were many, some red and looked infected. The mom was a different story. She had on an expensive brand’s label tennis shoes. Her manicure and even tan costly. Her makeup was perfection, her hair layered and highlighted. Her yoga pants (she was not in yoga class – another blog) and top also showed a brand name. Expensive, colored tattoos across her front and upper torso as well as her arms and a leg decorated her body. Her purse also had a designer label. She had two cases of label beer on the grocery conveyor belt and had just asked for brand name cigarettes. The kids cereal, bulk and generic, were next to her power drinks and a package of sushi. I did not see any milk. But, there was generic water. One can only assume.

You guessed it. She whipped out her food stamps for the allowed food items. I glanced at the magazine rack where the coloring book was shoved. A big, red $1.99 was in the right corner. “It’s all I want. It’s not much”…. “I don’t have the money for it.” Translates, I don’t have money for you, time for you. The bottom line. At what cost are you willing to be a mom first and you last?

Mom. Mother. Words that have lost their meanings. We have so labeled them with adjectives that we have diluted them into generic terms. Stay at home, work out of the home. Does not matter. Mom matters. Yes, there are women that need to work for money. There is no choice. There are, however, more and more women that choose to work for bigger houses, better things. And, sadly, more and more find a way to stay at home and be paid by the government but, do not use the money on their kids. Every woman decides how much their kids are worth. When did it become acceptable to put more value on yourself than your child?

Mother ~ Love. Caring. Nurturer. Self-sacrificing. Giver. Comforter. Available. Listener. Sympathizer. Empathizes. And much, much more.
A Mom is…

Being a good mom is taught from generation to generation. With each generation fewer and fewer mothers are raising the next generation. They are giving over to societies views and accepting their terms. More and more mothers are self centered, selfish, me first women. The children are too costly in time, money, convenience. They call themselves mother, even good mothers. Sadly, they do not even know what a good mother is today. We need role models. Moms to stand up and be moms; God first, kids and husband as a priority. A true mother may be somewhere down in the double digits in priority.

Mom. She gives her all and is ridiculed in today’s society. She is worthless in their eyes. She is a stay at home, non working mom. Really? She is more than just mom. She is the mom that fills the gaps at schools, communities, churches and neighborhoods. She may not get paid, but she works outside of the home. Sometimes so much so that she is up late at night and early in the morning to complete all the chores for her own. She may also be the works for pay mom that fills in gaps, cramming 36 hours into 24. She is a real mom. She is selfless. She is exhausted. And, she is worthless in the eyes of the world. Worthless? Not in God’s eyes. She is valuable and rare.

²⁵Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
²⁶She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
²⁷She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
²⁹“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
³⁰Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who ^[s]fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
³¹Give her the ^[t]product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.